Urologists, Podiatrists, Gynecologists, Oh My

As you get older, you find yourself seeing a variety of physicians, not because you want to, but because, well, you're old. You're falling apart. Things that used to work just fine are now...not. You find yourself using onomatopoetic words like creaking and popping; you hear yourself saying "My (fill in the blank) is KILLING me!" with great frequency. It kind of sucks.

So, I go to the doctor, and as I sit there waiting for him/her, I look around the room, carefully noticing the corners of the room and the baseboards to see if they're clean, because this is as important to me as that framed graduation announcement from Johns Hopkins or God forbid, some ridiculous school I never heard of (Wait, he only went THERE?). And then I start to wonder why this person chose this line of work in the first place.

I mean, on Choose Your Specialty Day at Doctor School, did he sit around and think, "Yeah, I'd like to look up people's asses all day..." or "Yeah, I think I can help all Womenkind by putting their feet up in stirrups and peering into their coochies..." and then there are the Foot Doctors...

Podiatrists, natch, had a foot fetish going for years, way before they got into Foot Doctor School. Otherwise, how do you explain someone willingly  touching, or should we just say it, wanting to fondle feet all day long? (And these are not "foot model" feet, by any means.) I can't even stand looking at my own feet, and don't even get me started on my husband's feet; he begged me to cut his toenails once, and I reminded him I had a pre-nup with this very clause.

It all makes for interesting thinking as you wait for whatever Specialty you need to see. It'll take your mind off the fact that the next person who comes into the room is going to look at parts of you that will never, ever see the sun shine: and this person actually chose to look there, over and over, for the rest of his life. Oh my.

Creepy, but God bless. You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din...no matter what crummy school you went to, you rock.