Here’s the thing: there are two types of Cleavage Situations today. There’s the Look At Me, I have Boobs!Cleavage, and the I’m Boney but Beautiful! Cleavage. I’m not a fan of either. I mean, come on, Big Cleavage is an artificial body part, because it’s not really there unless you make it:. squeeze some fatty parts together and there it is, big cleavage. Wait, you’re a model/actress, with no fatty parts? Then I’m sure you’re not at all artificial.
And guess what? Cleavage Situations are freaking everywhere. In the category of Look at Me! I Have Boobs!: Giada cooks her chicken parm with cleavage; my banker talks about money with cleavage, and the news chicks often like to talk about the fires and shootings with their cleavage. Why? Are we supposed to look at your pushed together breast crack, or listen to your fascinating information about ingredients/moneymarkets/shootings? (Confusing for us, isn’t it?)
And the I’m Boney but Beautiful! Category isn’t much better. OK, I’ll come clean: In 6th grade, Gary Hammerslag said that I was “a carpenter’s dream: flat as a board.” I hated Gary for a while, but then I realized that my boobs (hopefully) would grow (a bit), but he would always be an ass. But did I ever put my boney nonbreasts out there on display? Of course not: my clothes all had a little something called fronts. But these days, it seems the more drop dead gorgeous a model or actress is, the more Chestbone Structure we see. It reminds me of the story The Emperor’s New Clothes...no one has the nerve to tell these beautiful, famous women that they’re missing the front of their dress; people are too busy fawning over them.
So here’s what I’d like to say to both categories of misguided women: cover the hell up. So you’ve got tits, or you don’t got tits...why do you have to show us? Go about your business, (whatever it might be), avoid the fawning masses, and above all, avoid Gary Hammerslag.
He’s probably still an ass.
Five-hundred men participated in the German study.According to the study there were two groups of men , one group would have to avoid looking at cleavage for 5 years , and the other group was told to ogle them daily. They then found out that the group that stared had better heart health and lower blood pressure. Also they calculated that men should spend up to 10 minutes starring at cleavage throughout the day to stay healthy. I just have to say , it must have really been a tough 5 years for the group that couldn’t stare , i mean come on it’s a known fact that all guys do the quick glance.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.printkiller.com/news/2011/03/new-study-prooves-that-staring-at-a-womens-cleavage-is-healthy/